Things I would rather do than read Anna Karenina
(or as Camille calls it Anna Karenina Karenika Cornucopia Unicorn)
- Pick dryer lint out of vomit
- Eat snails
- Eat snails with ketchup (I loathe ketchup)
- Be stuck in an elevator with a vuvuzela quartet
- Watch a Nicholas Cage movie
- Listen to Justin Bieber AND Rebecca Black AND Nyan Cat on endless repeat
- Pet a snake
- Have a cat sit on my head
- Watch a foosball tournament
- See the new Footloose movie
- Bleach every square inch of a stranger’s bathroom tile with a toothbrush
- Be forced to wear a fluffy pink bunny costume
- Watch a SyFy monster movie marathon (or any of their marathons, actually)
- Listen to Fran Drescher read children’s fairy tales excitedly
- Listen to Bella Swan tell me about her life
- Be stabbed in the eyeball (I may be speaking figuratively here)
- Run. (I abhor running).
- Track down and become best friends with the bully in my fifth grade class who cut my favorourite Jansport backpack.
- Listen to an advanced Math lecture
- Read my journals from the age of 12 until now into a microphone on a busy street corner
However, I will not do any of these things. I am on page 408 of 982. That’s only 574 pages left. Goodreads says I’ve read 27.25 times that (or 15,644 pages so far in 2011). So I need to stop whining and just get to it.
Wish me luck?